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December 4, 2009
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I Still Love You

Hello young man,
How are you this fine day?
Have you made any new friends?
Has life gone according to plan?

Perhaps you have said 'I love you,'
To the maiden you chose to wed.
I've never heard you say this to me,
But I'll say it, 'I still love you.'

With me, you've been quite curt,
You have never had any regrets.
You have never told me you were sorry
Even though, I am very hurt.

As I sit here on the rug,
I remember our youth.
How every night just before bed,
We never shared a hug.

When I was harmed I would yelp,
After I would wait for you.
You never cared enough to come
You never offered me any help.

Outside you would bound,
Playing with your wooden swords.
You never offered to play with me,
All you did was push me around.

Because of you I built this wall in my head,
This defense has been there for many years.
I don't know how to take it down
So at night I cry as I lay in bed.

You taught me how to cheat,
'Twas a habit, hard to break.
The habit you could never end,
Was the frequency with me you beat.

Curses, insults, and put-downs you'd yell,
Like tiny daggers piercing my heart.
No wonder I'm unsure,
You made my life a living hell.

You never once told me 'I love you.'
I wonder if you truly do,
But you know what, Big Brother?
Despite all this and all that you have done,
I still love you.
This is a poem I wrote either last year or six months ago. I can't quite remember, but it is a fairly recent piece of writing. I always had a hard time opening up to others, and even to myself. I have found a safe haven in writing, it's a way to communicate where the spoken word fails.

My pain runs deep inside me, I have many wounds that are far from healed. It's taken years to properly handle the pain and it'll take many more to close the wounds. One wound in particular is very deep and several other wounds stem from it. This poem addresses the original source of pain, that deep chasm of a wound.

This poem is a letter from me to my older brother.
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:iconsabrina628:
SABRINA628 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
This is sad, but beuatiful. :D :)
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:iconivelen:
Ivelen Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional General Artist
Thank you!
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:iconsabrina628:
SABRINA628 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
Your welcome!! please, check out my poems!!! Though this is ful and written with history and meaning.
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:iconivelen:
Ivelen Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional General Artist
I'll definitely check out your poems.
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:iconsabrina628:
SABRINA628 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
thanks!!!!!
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:iconl-i-v-i:
L-I-V-I Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2009
Have you ever shown this to him?
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:iconivelen:
Ivelen Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2009  Professional General Artist
I have not shown this to him. I didn't write it to show to him, I wrote it to let go of the pain that I kept bottled inside me.
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:iconl-i-v-i:
L-I-V-I Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2009
I understand that. I just thought it might be healthy for both of you.....
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:iconivelen:
Ivelen Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2009  Professional General Artist
I agree it would be healthy for both of us, but he denies he ever did anything. I think the poem would kind of go over his head. Which is a shame.

I have hope that he'll come around eventually. So maybe someday I can show it to him. :0)
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:iconl-i-v-i:
L-I-V-I Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2009
It's really well-written. I really related to it, as far as my own personal experiences.
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